I was so excited to find out the theme for this month at Connections for Women is “Realistic Resolutions.” I am  all about that! My most important messages to people as an organizing expert are about things being “Good Enough,” being kind to yourself, and being realistic about what you can get done.
Here are five guidelines for setting resolutions that stick long term, based on what I have seen about people’s setbacks in the past.
- Take on only small amounts of change at one time. I once knew a sedentary meat-eater and smoker who decided to quit smoking, take up an exercise program, and become a vegetarian all at once. I am sure you can guess how that turned out! It was full speed ahead, and then at the first “failure,” the attempts were seen as completely futile and all was lost. We must add new habits and make changes on a slower, more realistic basis. If you are trying to get organized, start with just one project that will give you immediate success and visible results that affect your daily life, like your primary wardrobe closet, and use the momentum from that success to propel you forward into more.
- Get support—it’s the missing link and the secret to success! In our Clutter Diet® online program and my book, we talk about three things that are necessary for personal change: Motivation, Education, and Support. Most people get motivated, learn what they need to do and how to do it, and completely forget about or ignore the support factor. Having accountability to someone else is one of the most powerful ways to persevere through the difficulties that come with change. Get a friend to be your “Accountability Partner” or “Motivation Partner,” so that you can support and encourage each other through the tough times. Weight Watchers® has known this for years—that is why they have meetings in person and “weigh-ins” to hold you accountable for your results.
- Don’t compare yourself to an unrealistic ideal. What “organized” means for you is going to be different than for your neighbor, for your mother-in-law, and for the experts you see on TV. Please remember that what you typically see on TV and in magazines has been elaborately staged and planned for effect. It is not how real people live and is not realistic.
- Watch out for “All or Nothing” thinking. The aspiring non-smoking vegetarian I mentioned above fell prey to this poisonous thinking—that you are either completely on or completely off a program of change. Just because you have a messy laundry room this week that does not mean that you are now completely hopeless and you need to give up on ever being organized! Keep in mind the image of a business graph with a line that zig-zags up and down but always trends upward and to the right. The business is growing steadily and making progress, but each “zag” in the line shows a temporary setback. The important thing to remember is progress over time. Keep going! Do NOT give up.
- Have a strong, compelling reason for making change. In the long run, change is only successful if you have a reason for doing it. Your “why” is the wind in your sails that keeps you going when times are tough. You might be determined to not pattern your life after your parents, or you might be determined to show your children a better way of living. You might have health problems that resulted from stress, and getting organized means you can get some relief. Whatever your compelling reasons are, keep them in the front of your mind, especially when you are feeling discouraged.
I just wrote a blog post called “Ten Simple Ways To Be More Organized In 2010” that you can read for some easy projects and changes to get you off on the right foot. (http://budurl.com/c4wtenways2010) Here’s to your realistic and successful goals and a Happy New Year!
Enjoy more articles from Lorie Marrero
Certified Professional Organizer® Lorie Marrero is the author of The Clutter Diet: The Skinny on  OrganizingYour Home and Taking Control of Your Life. She is also the creator of ClutterDiet.com, an innovative program allowing anyone to get expert help at an affordable price. Her organizing books and products are sold online and in stores nationwide. Lorie has been a spokesperson for Brother label makers and Microsoft, and she is a sought-after expert for national media such as CNBC, Family Circle, WGN News and Woman's Day.
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